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June 24, 2008
Thoughts for Papa Tim in St. Looie
As most Geeks know, our good friend Tim in St. Louis and his lovely bride Jen recently became proud parents of a bouncing baby girl. In the process, they also became overwhelmed, sleepless parents as well. (Hmmmm, new parenthood isn’t like this on TV.)
OK, me first? Three things, Tim-o:
#2. On parenting as a whole…You know the old nature-vs.-nurture question? Check this out: it’s about 85%-15%. You won’t believe how much is already hard-wired into your daughter’s circuitry. As parents, all you’re doing is refining the other 15%.
I’m sure I have more than this, but again, since this is all unsolicited — and since you probably won’t be awake long enough to get through this tome — I’ll stop here. Congrats again, Papa Tim. You’re in for a wonderful ride. Geeks? 22 Responses to “Thoughts for Papa Tim in St. Looie”Leave a ReplyYou must be logged in to post a comment. |
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Pull-out…..oh wait……
I keed, I keed :-p
A few tips:
1. Read to her as often as you can. I cannot stress this enough. It’s the best way to develop a lifelong love of reading, which will help in many many ways. My mother read to me every day when I was an infant, and I was reading on my own by the age of 2 1/2 (and I haven’t stopped since).
2. Try your best to avoid the baby talk. Babies can handle hearing actual words, and the more that they hear, the better it is for their developing brains.
3. Don’t spend too much money on baby clothes. There’s a good chance she’ll puke all over them before she outgrows them.
4. Take lots of pictures. They grow up fast, and you’ll want to look back on these days.
1. Grow boobs. Your wife will appreciate this.
Seriously, Fatt and Jessica make very good points.
My 2 cents
1. Remember that for your wife, caring for the baby is physically and mentally draining. Do as much as you can to help not only with the little one, but with other stuff around the house. Eliminating the “little things” like laundry, dishes, garbage etc goes a long way to alleviating her stress.
2. Take the baby for a few hours, not just during a nap. Let your wife sleep. remember, she is only sleeping while the baby does. If she is nursing, this is very hard on her. Have her pump once you get to the point where this is an option.
3. Cherish every moment with the baby. They do grow up fast. Pics and video my man. Buy a DVD camcorder if you do not have one.
4. Send the wife out for a massage, manicure, pedicure, whatever things she likes to do. She will love you for this.
5. Babies get fevers. Some will be high. You and your wife will freak out. This is normal. Some kids even run a fever with a cold. Call the doc, and listen to them. Don’t worry that the doc will think you are crazy. You are not. You are parents.
Congratulations to you and Mrs. Tim. Parenthood is hard, but it is wonderful.
Book suggestion - “What to Expect the First Year.” Chock full of info.
Heh my gf always talks baby talk to the dog and I always make fun of her for it……she keeps telling me when we have a baby to talk baby talk to them because babies like that……I was like heck no…..im going to talk normal to them lol. I actually think when someone is baby talking a baby they must be thinking “why is this retard talking like that to me” lol.
Congrats Tim.
Luckily for you, Tim, I know babies (although as far as I know I haven’t fathered one)
1. Don’t drop it.
2. No beer. Maybe some Jack if the baby is cranky and you want it to go sleepy time. But not more than a half-shot or something.
3. Wear goggles when changing diapers. Just trust me. Some surprising shit can happen, if you will.
4. Collect all of your loose change and get it rolled up. Begin saving for college.
Congratulations, Tim and Jen!
I agree with Fatt. Definitely teach her to love baseball. I have my opinions on which team, but I will leave that decision up to you. (In case we don’t agree.)
Sing with her. This will pay off in both directions. You will each be endlessly amused by the other’s efforts.
I know from your writing that you have a fondness for language. You will pass that along without effort.
May she grow up to be happy, healthy, resourceful and valiant.* Enjoy her!
*The left-handed pitching thing is optional
Tim, I have learned a few things’
- Try not to laugh to hard the first time she falls into the toilet because a dude, not use to being around women and girls, forgot to put the seat down
- You’ve got to factor in time for unexpected delays whenever you go places. If it usually takes you and your wife 10 minutes to go from your driveway to the supermarket, expect an extra 3 minutes per child
- Hold of on addictive Disney Channel shows as long as you can. Girls especially love these shows like Hannah Montana and Zach and Cody; however, you’ll soon realize that all these shows have stolen storylines from old sitcoms like I Love Lucy (See that’s so Raven). Miley will probably be off the DIsney channel by the time you have to worry about it but there is a factory at disney of tots ready to take her time slot.
- You will no longer be able to talk behind people’s back so easily. WIth kids around, they are human parrots, they will repeat anything to the people you talk about
- If Missouri does not have a scholarship program like Georgia, move to a state with such a program before she starts high school.
- Have Fun.
Wow, you got it down to 3? I’m still working down from 15. What’s your secret, TLC? Restraints?
Tim
I wish you, Jen and Chloe much love, health, happiness and of course, patience.
And I have one word for you tim…..it cures all ills. Bacon!
Love,
Shea
Note: This does not go away as the child grows up. I am 22, my brother is 19, and mom and dad still complain about how long it takes to leave the house when all four of us go somewhere together.
Oh, and I totally agree on the Disney shows and saving for college.
You guys rock. Mr. Lipp thank you. And to all of you out there, Jen, Chloe and I thank you so much.
And I am exhausted…But Chloe and I did manage to see a Cards/Redsox game the other day……..
She pooped. So much for sports….
Again thank you all….I miss talking about who the ugliest players are and reading your arguements about whether some 8th grader for Puerto Rico is overated as a prospect…and Pole vaulter girls.
Thanks,
Tim
Athena…she still may be a left handed hurler. She hurled on our comforter last night…….The womens softball tourney was on a while back and I didn’t see to many lefties…..
but who was batting, the Sox or the Cards? :)
CONGRATS (AGAIN), TIMMY!!
Tim…..of the father of two under 4 year-olds…here is the best bit of advice i can give you….
No matter how much you want to, by 3 months, do not rock and coddle the baby to sleep….if that becomes a habit, you are facing about 18 months of interrupted sleep…..
sweetlew is a wise man.
I had to do this with the littlest one (she had bad acid reflux) and it was hard breaking her of the habit.
Also, do NOT let them sleep in your bed. It is impossible to get them out. I never did it, but I have friends who did.
This is definitely a huge one. Even if this occurs once, your doomed lol.
Fabulous advice. Read EVERYTHING aloud that you used to read silently: mail, newspapers, instruction booklets, microwave oven button labels, laundry tags, serious literature, math textbooks — whatever you’re reading as you’re holding her, read it aloud. People laughed at me when I read the literature I was teaching the next week aloud to my son as I was rocking him to sleep. No one laughs about it now, because they don’t remember it, but also no one notices ME anymore at all. All they notice is this five-year old with a college-level vocabulary.
Also world-class advice that is under-appreciated in most books, so far as I can tell. The more singing, in my experience, the happier the baby and toddler. My wife sang little operas as she did chores, with lyrics like “I’m putting in the cold-water laundry. Now I’m putting in the laundry detergent.” Made doing chores hilarious, because he’d start singing along, and when babies sing, everybody laughs.
This one is tough for me to agree with. It is true that the little girl will likely not wish to sleep elsewhere for the next several years, and I don’t need to suggest to you the ways that this will disrupt your adult life. You can absolutely NEVER come to bed even slightly impaired, since you need to be wakeful enough not to sleep on top of the baby. But on the other hand, it may be the best way to get a nursing mother the sleep she needs. And you may enjoy listening to them sleep together. All in all, I come down on the other side on this issue: DO let her sleep in your bed. There is no greater pleasure than feeling your child fall asleep against you.
My own advice:
0. Most important advice I can give: Do not be afraid to switch pediatricians until you find the one you’re most confident in. If you’re not happy with your kid’s doc, do something about it right away. Best thing we did was switch pediatricians when our boy was one month old.
1. Write things down so you’ll remember them later, especially the things you’ve said that you never in your life expected to say. I’m still amazed that one day I actually heard myself saying, “Please do not stand on the open dishwasher door.” Write down what she says, too, when she starts talking. You’ll be astounded by what comes out of her mouth, but if you don’t write it down, you might lose its subtlety and genius in working with a language that is not quite hers yet. My son at age three: “I am brave of flies.”
2. If the local schools has a Parents as Teachers program, sign up. There is nothing cooler than having a child development specialist come to your house a dozen times a year with new games, new ideas, suggestions, and an ear to listen with.
3. Spend some cash on good babysitters, even when you’re at home. The more adults around to help with stuff, the better. The local colleges will have young women who are studying to be teachers (you may have met some of them!), therapists, social workers, whatever. They often make the best babysitters. Don’t be afraid to fire the bad ones and to over-pay the good ones.
4. Remember, if you’re not laughing out loud, you might not looking at the situation properly. What is funnier, after all, than changing your kid’s diaper and getting a nostril-full of pee? Left nostril, for anyone who is curious. Live and learn!
5. Lastly, keep in mind that, for the most part, your job is mostly just to give her opportunities and to keep out of the way enough that she can take them, but in the way enough to keep her from getting too badly hurt.
Lots of luck, Tim! Have fun, and let us know how the grand experiment goes.
By the way, you did name her “Mr. Met,” didn’t you?
I mean, Chloe’s just a nickname, right?
Congrats Tim. May you experience the same great Joys that I have raising my daughter
Thanks Chaucer, you have been a big help to me on a number of issues, teaching and child care being the most pressing. You spent a lot of time writing this down for me, you all have, and it is appreciated. I wish I could go to Pitt. and thank you all in person. I would go broke buying you all the Steel City you deserve.
Thank you so much
One more suggestion, Tim, now that I remember it: in my experience, the best “how to” books about kids are the Sears family books.
Hey, belated congrats tim!
two cents from an SLP - 100% yes on the reading, also - narrate even the smallest little routines for her as she gets older, it’s a terrific base for language. No to the nonsense baby talk, but yes to high pitched talking using real words - at a very young age the baby identifies more with the pitch of your voice than the actual words.
Enjoy her!